Insights Into Changes in Thinking

June 22, 2005

So I got out of a not long relationship like 5 days ago. And I just got into another tonight. Me 3 months ago would be like “Whaaat? You need to wait longer, that looks bad and you’re not ready!” But i think I am. I need to stop doing what I think looks good appearances-wise and what i think is the right thing to do (which im usually wrong about anyway lol) and start doing more of what makes me happy. I need to take risks and leaps of faith. Either something will work out or it wont, and if it doesnt i need to learn from it. Like tonight. He asked if I’d be his boyfriend and the first thing that went through my mind was “But its so soon since i got out of a relationship, shouldnt I wait?” So i said id think about it. But as i thought about it, I realised ive moved on pretty securely from last week and the closure i thought i wanted isnt as important and wouldnt bring me any more peace of mind than just moving on would bring. So i decided to do something I never wouldve dreamed of 3 months ago. I took a leap of faith in it working out well and said yes. So now I have a boyfriend again. He’s gorgeous. And awesome. And I dont care what people think.

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