September 4, 2004

Yea, I dunno.

I feel like shit. Which scares me because I have no idea why, at least not why I feel bad just right now.

I was going to go on a date today, but nooo i had to stay home and be here with mi madre all day when ive been saying for a week how i was gonna go do something today, and no one objected. Sam was here, and I figured he was going to be here with mom, but he just kinda left on a motorcycle ride. I had like 2 hours to myself today, and I went and hung out with Adam at It’s a Grind and then we went to Folsom and Sunrise so he could pay some bills.

This bag of Starburst makes me mad. Its mostly orange and yellow.

Like most everyone else, not EVERYONE but a lot, Im pissed off at the male species. I want a boyfriend. Really badly. I want someone who I can go see and cuddle with. And share with.

My friend situation is as wierd as ever. I have a lot of friends, and some awesome ones are mixed in, but I dont have a best friend. I havent since Nikki and I grew apart. I think I’m getting used to it, but the fact that I dont have a best friend kinda saddens me. Most people know who theyre walking with at Graduation, I don’t even know where to start. I dont have anyone to call when something super exciting happens, and no one that calls my parents “mom and dad” too. I want that.

Another fuckin orange starburst.

And a yellow. Suprise suprise.

Oh well. I’m gonna go read or something.



August 22, 2004

Dunno. I’m in a wierd mood. I feel… mellow, yet angry, yet sad. Im listening to “The Rasmus” and feeling blah.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Woke up at like 11 and had to scramble to get ready to go hang out with Adam. We were gonna see a movie but I got there 10 mins late and since his brother was having a party he left after a lil bit. I understand. Was disappointed, but I understand. …

Hung out with Paul after that until like midnight, and randomly ran into a few ppl i was suprised by. One was this guy Alan what i almost dated way back like a year and a half ago. So he and I are talking again, which is pretty cool i suppose. And then Paul and I ran into Syd and Beeber and Syd’s ex (Jeff? dont remember) in the True Love, so we sat and talked until like 11:30 and I had to run Paul home and then go home.

I was online til like 2 am, and then i decided to go watch Moulin Rouge and woke up to the ending credits at like 5 lol . Woot.

Wierd mood still in full swing. Maybe i need to go on another date with myself. That was really fun last time.

Im such a loser.


August 15, 2004

Lala la!

Today was really fun, went to wor this morning and had a very tiring morning. But afterwards I came home and showered and changed and left for Sunrise Mall and spend a few hours there with Aaaaadam. It was funny, and apparently my laugh is too loud. Oh well. lol We went to every clothing store lookign for pants for me and FINALLY i bought some at Express, which though its pricey im really happy with the pants. Then Adam had to go to some family thing and made me go to Mimi’s with my family (damn you and your voice of reason!), and then i bought some shoes at Ross. Finally a pair I can wear with shorts, should i choose to wear them.


So yea. Before school tomorrow I gotta get a binder with some paper in it, a pencil, my bag, pick out an outfit, and eventually get to sleep cuz im actually getting excited.

Anyhoo. Gotta talk to Teena to know what time to pick her up. Gotta go.


August 13, 2004

I don’t especially have anything constructive to post. Just posting because there’s really not much else to do.

Had first night of work in a week and a half. Really hot OGG (obviously gay guy) came in with his parents, i wanted his pants. There was eye flirting, it was fun. But he left early, so poo.

Wanted to hang out with Adam if possible tonight, but he was busy, which is perfectly fine. Just a last minute idea, so nothing big. Talked with his friend Paul online today, gave him a “strip tease” on my webcam LOL. Not really, i changed for work while i was chatting with ppl and he saw my boxers. Im so scandalous.

Hmm nothing else i believe.



August 10, 2004

I ACTUALLY feel like making some kind of substantial update this time. Might be the song im listening to making me feel slightly emotional (“When You Told me you Loved Me” by Jessica Simpson) or whatever, dunno. Maybe I just feel like writing. Whateva.

My hair looks hot tonight. I’ll put up a pic.

[Lost the picture]

Oh yeah. Sexay.

Anyhoo, today I went roller blading with Teena, Brandon, Krista, Nicole, and Mike. It was really fun, and I might actually be starting to get a hang of this whole “balance” thing that I keep hearing about. I requested the song “Heaven” by DJ Sammy and dedicated it “To Teena, From Luke (Your lover boy)” which was fun because they turned off the lights and turned on the disco lights and played it loud. Fun day all around. We went to Coldstone afterward and ate ice cream.

Life has been odd lately. Been meeting some new people, one of which is sarcasticme (on LJ) who’s just the shit, lol. He’s awesomeness incarnate (and dead sexay no matter what he says! ow ow!) so everyone read his LJ. TJ and I are officially broken up. The whole 9 hours away thing wasn’t workin for me. I need someone that I know I can see more than once in a 5 month period. I’m feeling okay about it because it’s what needed to happen. We’ll see what happens when he gets back.

Feelin’ blah as usual at night time. Talking to Adam, which makes me feel a lil better because he’s really fun to talk to. Dunno what else I feel like typing.

I wanna write something deep and profound but my mind isn’t working that way.

Good night all.

God. Emo is seeping out of everything i type lately. I miss TJ. Im gonna get the pics of he and I off of my camera sometime. I’ll put a few up here if I feel like it. I feel really crappy tonight. I worked. Afterward i called ever person on my cell phone address book and no one could go see “A Cinderella Story” with me. So i stayed home. I went to Hollywood Video and dropped off “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion” and “Notorious C.H.O.” and hung out with Adam and Vicky in front of It’s a Grind for a while, bought water to change my fish’s water at safeway, came home, changed my fish’s water, and here i am now.

My life is boring. I kinda want school to start. Even the drama would be a nice refresher. Oh well.

I want TJ to be here. I want to be held again. No one holds me except him. I guess im not close enough to anyone else to feel comfterble cuddling. Except D. I can cuddle with her. Shes the only one that seems to want to cuddle.

Im tired.

Good night.