Tee hee…

January 29, 2004

Woo! I’m dumb, I know, but I ate dinner tonight and my parents left for a few hours, so I made some orange juice and was lookin arounf the kitchen, and was like “Hey! Im home alone and I’ve never tried vodka!” So I made myself a Screwdriver (orange juice and vodka). So hehe Im kidna tipsy at the moment.

Anyway, ya, My net’s been pissing me off major. Its been off all day today, and all day yesterday. No. All day yesterday and all day today. Except for now. But its on so im not quite so mad at it. Yup.

Not a whole lot going on. Drove Teena home today, wanted to tell this 10 year old that was making faces at us either that I was 16 and could beat his ass or insult his matching talents. lol.

Peer Counseling was good, got to unload some stress. Its nice that a lot of it has been slowly disappearing. Very nice. 🙂

Goin stag to Winter Ball, Kat has to work. Im kinda glad, tho it sounds bad, tho i dont mean it badly. We might hang out afterward, but she wouldnt know anyone there that I’d be hanging out with. Plus now I get to hang out with Erin and Mallerie before the dance! Im wearing this fun mint green shirt with my vest and slacks. Either mint green, butter yellow, or this rosey pink color. So ya! Im done.

Vodka tastes like rubbing alcohol…

Clueless makes me happy! Im gonna go watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on DVD! YAY!



January 27, 2004

Why are these Fun Size Snickers so yummy? Is it their fun size? I dont get that either, whats so fun about a candy bar thats so small? I think it would be more fun to have a really big candy bar, but that would be fattening.

Wow. Rambling major.

I really love the rain. I really do love the wind. But I didnt like how they mixed today. I was nice and warm in my Old Navy jacket, and then suddenly..


I am freezing and my neck is wet. Grr. Oh well, the day was pretty good otherwise. I kinda decided against getting fish, at least for the moment. A few reasons:

1. I dont have money for fish, the bowl, and all the supplies.
2. I dont have the space for the bowl.
3. I dont have time to clean them.
4. Theyre boring.

So ya. No fishies for me. Oh well, I will survive! School was ok, not too much to talk about, cept for ppl CONTINUOUSLY TAILGATING ME ON THE WAY HOME! Jana and hot men are the only people allowed to ride my ass. (hehe Jana, Teena, Christy, Hannah, u kno what Im talkin about! =P) They were neither. I was soooooooo pissed off, I flipped em off and they finally backed off. But ya. My day was borrrrrrrringgggggg.

Oooo! Almost forgot! My boss called me today and told me that since I requested the day off on Saturday so that I could attend my Winter Ball, I could go! YAY! Im excited! Now I just gotta check to see if Kat still wants to/can go and then what color shirt to wear. Woop woop!


January 26, 2004

Yes 3rd post. This is a poem. Emotionally draining, I feel better now.

I am a clipped labyrinth,
A deep, secluded hedge maze,
In the forest of my heart.
I can’t solve myself.
I walk,
I creep,
I crawl,
I flee in abject confusion.
My paths,
My passages,
I can’t remember where I am,
Who I am.
I know that if I can only get,
To the exit,
This will be ended.
But I move,
Spinning, spinning, spinning,
This phantasmagoria makes me sick.
I am dizzy.
I vomit my insides with hatred and loathing,
Of this maze.
My tears wash away the grime,
Yet replace it with emptiness.
My mournful scream rends the freezing air,
And my sight cannot see past the starless night.
Agonizingly numb, I resume my inner trudge,
My shield of my other self,
My twin real me,
Shielding my maze,
From eyes that wish to solve it.


January 26, 2004

Because I’m bored and I SERIOUSLY have nothing else to do here are some more fun Quizilla results…

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always want to try something new. Your inquisitive and quite lovable. You have many friends and will succseed in life.
Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always
want to try something new. Your inquisitive and
quite lovable. You have many friends and will
succseed in life.

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

holding hands
hand holding – you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don’t
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok well I think thats enough for tonight. These things are suprisingly accurate, especially that first one…

Wow, my new icons are fun! If not kinda depressing at times. Theyre just my old ones with text put on them. Ya, today was rather uneventful. There was a bad car crash near my school this morning that made a lot of ppl like 3 periods late, and a 6-month old child died… Its really scary to think that at any time out in that big world where everyones going 80 in the slow lane of life, you could be next… Something that all the pain and death at school these last 2 years has taught me… Ug…

I have a headache. And hte odd tasting dough from the shortbread cookies I attempted to make, the salty and icky taste of which inspired this quote when I was chattin with Anthony:

“love is like your first batch of cookies, the first bite always tastes sweet, but theres often an overdose of salt waiting for you at the end”

More depressingness. I was gonna put a happy icon with this one but I think Ill make it one of my more depressed ones. Well, thats about it. Aaron and Teena and I seem to be on much better terms now, It was really nice and relieving to be at least a little back from where we used to be, if not where we were.

Yup. Thats about it. I swear this time.

Actually, its not. Lol. I had a really odd dream last night about hunting killer mosquito eaters and hot bisexual car washers/American Idol finalists/TV Reporters. Ya, Its wierd. I think my mind is trying to tell me SOMETHING, Ive been really out of touch with my dreams lately, I think I’m gonna start my dream journal again so maybe I can catch some of what my mind has been telling me. Ive had the most vivid and remembered dreams these last few days. Like every night I have a dream that I remember. Like my mom saying that because i am gay AND fat and lazy, I needed to go move into the Lambda center which was apparently a church. Ya. I dunno either lol. Anyway, Im drained. This is ACTUALLY it.


January 25, 2004

Im totally getting myself some fishies!! I got an aquarium from the attic today, got it all cleaned out, just gotta patch up a crack on the side, get a light bulb, fill it up, get some stuff in it (castles, seaweed, etc) then i get to get me some fish! I dunno what I want yet. At least one silver goldfish. Other than that Im not sure. Meh!

Today was fun, painted the backdrops for Winter Ball, that was really fun. They turned out really nice. I got black paint on my arm… it wont come off… Well after that Mel came over and we watched most of Chicago and ate noodles in milk… It was fun! Then I went and waited at Taco Bell in EDH for Danny to get off work, we hung out at his house for a while, I got some food at Pick Up Stix, yummy, needed soy sauce tho… Anyway, thats it. I took the quiz that almost everyone seems to have taken, heres my results!

You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic…that’s what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life’s a
game and it’s a good one. In your eyes there’s
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it’s all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren’t quite as bright or clever as you – which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in – Always. Barefoot and wild you
can’t be tamed. You’re probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media – from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world – ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds – but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others – unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can’t imagine life without it. You’ll grow up
someday, but you’ll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn’s chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and
self-absorbed, one thing is certain – life with
you will never be boring!

*~*~*Claim Your Wings – Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

I love it! They fit me!!


January 24, 2004

Woot woot… Today was fun. Woke up at like 12:00 and realized that Chris’ party was today, got there at 2 (due to no one who knew the time being avaliable), and helped out with decorations. We wrestled that damn pool table out into his back yard lol that was interesting… Met a lot of new ppl, a lot of them weren’t interested in talking to me at all, but I had ppl I knew there to keep me company. We played balloon volleyball for WAAAAAAY too long lol. There was kareoke too, me and D sang “My Girl” by the Temptations lol that was hella fun. I know I’m leaving out a lot of stuff but Im also really tired. I got lost on the way home lol Theres this lane on Hwy 50 that you HAVE to get off on Folsom Blvd. and i totally forgot about it, and I couldnt merge in time, so I had to get off on Folsom. Couldnt make a u-turn for 5 mins, missed the ramp, couldnt make another u-turn for like 10 mins, finally got back on the freeway. I was so scared lol I had no idea hwere the hell I was. Yup. Ummmm well I’m like passing out on my keyboard so Im gonna go to bed.

Bet you anything my rents make me go to church tomorrow morning…


January 24, 2004

Ugh! My dad finally tells me that I can go to Winter Ball. Im excited. Im happy. Im expecting to have a great time. Well, why would fate, karma, whatever the hell is fucking with my life, want me to have a good time or be happy? So it decides to make it so that I have to work that night. Theres some big event that I can’t get off. WTF??

Ill probably just ask if I can have an hour out around 8:30 – 9:30 so I can run in and get my picture taken with the Peer Counselors. Thats the main thing that I want, even though I’ve been DYING to go to a dance or just go dancing period since homecoming!

I might actually be able to go to Chris’ party tomorrow! That would be nice. I might drop by and hang out with Kody before he goes to work, if I can time it right. That would be nice, too. Darn you Anthony! Why did you have to have plans!? 😛 J/K, we can play DDR and listen to Britney Spears another day lol


January 23, 2004

ARGHH! I brought home a grade check for Math today, I have a nice solid B now, but noooooooooooo my parents still have me on fuckin restriction!! IM SO PISSED OFF!


January 22, 2004

YAY! I took the time to add 3 more icon pics today! Im so uber-awesome! One is the one I have set for this entry, but you’ll have to wait and see what the other 2 are! Muahahaha! (Hmm nm it wont let me put a new one up yet. But I will! Oh yes! MUAHAHAH!)

Today was fun, school was not too shabby. We got our song for English all ready, we don’t sound great but then again I doubt many other groups will be awesome. And we have the choir girls, so woop woop!

After school I went to Buckeye to see my kindegarten teacher. She didnt recognise me at ALL! We chatterd for like 30 mins, it was so fun and nostalgic. Then I went to see the librarian, shes as awesome as ever! She took a pic of me with my favorite book, and she’s gonna put it up on the wall 😛 She was so fun. Being in that library again was sooo cool, it still smells AWESOME! Then i went to go see my 4th and 5th grade teacher, and we chatted for a while. It was funnnnnn! I went to Camerado to go see Mrs. Eslinger, but shes sick, so I might check tomorrow. Its fun not having these ppl recognise me with how much I’ve grown.

So ya! We get to perform our song for our English class tomorrow… I should practice… Jason is coming with his guitar and playing the song (“Good Riddance” by Green Day) and we sing with our new lyrics to his playing. Dunno how well thats gonna work. lol

Aaaaaanyway, Im rambling, so I’m gonna go take me a showa!

Peace, Love, and Framed Tootsie Rolls!