So tired!

So fun!! This last weekend was the CAPP Conference, had a major BLAST!! I don’t wanna type out everything, but heres a list of memories i wrote on the plane home listening to sydney’s cd “Motion City Soundtrack.” (Theyre an AWESOME band!)

Memories:

JOELLE & GREG!!
Mr. Toads Wild Ride
-SYDNEY! THE TRAIN!!!
-One ticket, u go to hell!!
Haunted Mansion made Disneyland the SADDEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!
Oh boy!
-Rancid Fish!
-Space Pickles!
-Crystals!
-Teacups!
-Space Tea!
-Wicked Witch!
-Poisoned Apple!
“We’re going to outer space!!”
Guy with flashlight, what are you for?
Matterhorn
-THE EYES! AHHH!!
-Grinding Beth in the car
-Sydney, the 4 year old
It’s a Small World
-Bitchy movie star
-THE DOLLS ATE ALADDIN!!
-We found Nemo!!
-Why do they all have funky perms?
-Ooo sexy can-can dancers!
I want to swim in THAT cloud!
PJ’s … interesting … smell
Youth Speak Out
A very merry infection, to youuuuuu!
BOYCOTT KIRSTEN STORMS!!!!!!!
Losing my emo virginity
Ska dance at the tea cups!
My thrust-related injury
BARF BAGGIE!!
Evil Target incompetent mav VS. SYDNEYYYY!
Beth = Drunk + High off of Amp Energy Drink
I’ve got the boom boom!
Tone down the dancing, this is a peer counseling event!
Scary disappearing Emo Kid!
Scary disappearing kid in brown shirt!
Stewardess made me think of Britney Spears!!
Mel’s scary plane stories
Pirates of the Carribbean
-DEAD MEN TELL NO TAAAAAAAALESSSSS!
-That skeleton has crabs!
-Mr. Gwyn is a pirate!
-OMG! An exit! Was that in the movie??
“Rich boy”
Smashing my nuts on the pole
Kirsten Storms!! Can I have your womb?
I’m a bluish-goldish-orangey-greenish color, I think!
LUKE! UR THE ORANGE GUY!
I look emo! No Luke, u look drugged. there IS a difference!
Mel’s lack of film
Sydney = French girl at McDonalds!
RED ROBIN MENU!
Klepto-convention

K im done.

Friday will never come!!

Meh not much. Goin to L.A. this weekend for a peer counsling coference adn a 12 hour visit to Disneyland! Friday is YEARS away. Cant Wait.

Not much else. My rents are telling me i have to see “The Passions of Christ.” Im sick of them forcing this on me. If they want me to do what they want, wouldnt it be wiser to not guilt trip me into things? Then I might not be so against them. WOW! WHAT A SUPRISE!

45

Meh not much exciting. Still getting over the whole boy problem thing… Time heals all things.

I got off work like 2 hours early tonight so I decided to hang with Nikkay after grabbing some dinner at McD’s. She ate like half my fries… and eyed my sandwich until i gave her some lol.

Nikki, ACT LIKE YOU CARE!!

“Huh? Oh…”

*dies*

Omg too much funny, i can’t even remember some of it… now I know why ppl think im stoned all the time… lol Michael asked me if I was… Im just high on life baby!! =D

I Feel Day tomorrow… I can talk about the family crap and the boy stuff… hopefully it’ll help to get some more outside input. My self talk needs re-evaluating (All you peer counselors will know what I mean!).

Ok well im done.

Nikki u did get makeup on my shirt… My mom was asleep and my dad didnt comment… lol

44

Sigh… I did it again. I fooled myself into thinking someone liked me. Im tired of this. I want someone to like ME and to tell me they like me. Not what I always do. I feel like a homeless kid, going door to door, getting it slammed in my face after i hold it open to be intrigued by the interior, want to go in and explore and sit in comfort and warmth… then it get slammed in my face and i walk balk into the frigid air… and when someone actually lets me in i get tired of it too fast for my own good and I leave, the person who let me have what I wanted being hurt in my wake. I do it to myself every single time.

I hate me sometimes…

43

I SAW SARAH AT SAFEWAY! And she looked uber sexah in her taco bell outfit! Grr baby, very grr!

Bored and sad…

Today was kinda crappy. Mel and I were gonna hang out, then go see a movie with Anthony, but he didnt wanna go so we tried to make other plans. When I was waiting for Mel to call me back, my grades came in the mail and my mom got mad (a 2.43 GPA which WILL come up). Well the conversation somehow flipped to my being gay and i ended up spilling all my feelings about their unacceptance and me sobbing on her shoulder. It was actually quite relieving, i havent actually cried like that for years.

Well I ended up not going out, since im re-grounded and all. We had steak and au gratin potatoes for dinenr and everythign was normal, if a lil more tense. We rented Legally Blonde 2 and my rents actually kinda laughed at the gay dog parts. I was suprised. Mebbe things are changing for the better…

Neway, valentines day sucks, just reminds those of us who are currently alone of that fact.

40

Decision were made, actions taken, regrets felt.

Romance, none. Valentines day, dumb. Emotions, numb.

I didnt mean for that to be poetic in any way, im just lazy and dont want to type everything out.

Nite.

Sigh

Im setting myself up for a fall again i think… I like him, though how can I, really? We’ve seen each other once. Sure we talk a lot… Similarities… the good kind of differences… I dunno… It might just be my pessimism speaking, but I dunno if he even likes me too. BLAH.

I hate me sometimes.

Wheee

I had a pretty good day. Procrastinated all day and chatted with Anthony. Very cool guy to talk to… Talked to him all day… I talk about myself too much though.

Thats pretty much all i did. Vaccumed my moms car. Took some pictures of some nature crap outside (one of which Anthony photoshopped to make look AWESOME, ill post it some time if he doesnt). Baked 150 chocolate chip cookies.

Its that time of night when i think too much. I dont like thinking too much, it gets depressing, and I dont like feeling depressed. Ug. Im gonan go before i get moreso.

37

Erin u ROCK

Charlie

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